| eleven |
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February 10th, 2009 @ 4:52pm
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Private to friends
I can't believe this. I thought he liked me. And I know we weren't official or anything, but I thought there was something there, you know? And after the picnic and the concert... I don't think it was a ridiculous thing of me to assume.
But apparently he's in love with Elva. There's no way I could compete with her. I feel so stupid, thinking that I had a chance at all. And I don't know what to do, because I want to feel happy for him; I'm glad that he's found someone that he really cares about, and they're such good friends, I'm sure they'll be good together. But. It's hard, and it hurts. Because I really wanted that someone to be me.
And I guess I should be angry with him. I didn't think he was the type of bloke who'd lead a girl on, but that's what he's been doing. I mean, I didn't just hallucinate everything. He did act like he cared about me. But I can't be angry at him, no matter how much I think I should be. And he said that we're good friends, so maybe it's my fault for falling for it. I just don't know.
I knew it was too good to be true though.
[friends include Audrey, Evie, Langley, Dom, David, Beppe, Carter. If I forgot someone, let me know]
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| ten |
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January 25th, 2009 @ 5:58pm
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I have a really irrational fear of house elves. They terrify me. Which is sad because there's nothing wrong with them, and by all accounts, I should like them because, you know, of how much they do for us. And I like them in theory, but they make me nervous. Like, really, really nervous. It's so stupid. But this is really problematic for when I want to steal food from the kitchens or something. Like today I have this random urge to make cupcakes- I don't know, I like simple desserts like that, and it's calming to bake- except they're always just there, watching and judging and I don't know. It freaks me out.
Anyway. In less distressing news. Well, I don't have a whole lot to say. It's been pretty boring for me lately. Olivia owled me a cute skirt yesterday, and I curled my hair this morning and managed to not mess it up. And classes are going. Not much else to say about them. And I don't really like talking about classes more than I absolutely have to and all. I don't know. Nothing of interest ever happens in my life.
Well. Except for this concert that I keep hearing whispers about. Rhys, have you settled on a date yet?
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| nine |
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January 6th, 2009 @ 10:06pm
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private to friends/charmed against Rhys
I really can't believe it. I mean, Rhys of all people asks me to the dance. That's unbelievable on its own. And at first I thought it was some sort of fluke but I think he actually likes me. First, for Christmas he gave me this certificate for the ice cream place we met at this summer so we could go back together- and I didn't even think he'd do anything for me, and I felt horrible because I didn't think to get him anything, but he didn't seem to mind. And then he said that he thought we should spend more time together, and okay, I thought that maybe he was just saying that to be nice, but then yesterday, he said he wanted to see me. And this afternoon he's arranging a picnic, and I'm really, really looking forward to it. And to seeing him.
And it's so unreal, you know? I didn't think this would ever happen to me, especially with a guy like Rhys. And maybe I'm getting ahead of myself because this could just be a casual thing for him, I don't really know how he feels, but it's something and it's more than I expected.
And I guess all I want to say is that I'm happy. I mean, really, really happy, no matter how this turns out.
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| eight |
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December 30th, 2008 @ 3:49pm
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I heard that a career day is coming up? I didn't even know we had one of those. Does anybody know how it works or what sort of people are coming? I guess it's a good thing that something like this is happening because I have no idea what I want to do after school. I'm glad we 6th years still have time to decide though. I wonder how the 7th years are faring
Oh! And I still have plenty of sweets that my mum sent me if anyone wants to share.
Private to Rhys
Thanks for taking me to the dance! It really meant a l I had a lot of fun! I hope you did too?
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| seven |
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December 23rd, 2008 @ 5:32pm
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Private to self/readable by friends
I'm really nervous about the ball tomorrow. I still can't believe that Rhys asked me of all people. I mean, he could have his choice of girls. And even on the off chance that he did actually want to go with me instead of just running out of options, what if I don't meet his expectations? I don't know what he expects from a date, but what if I'm not up to his standards? I mean, a million things could go wrong. We could run out of things to talk about or I could be a horrible dancer or he or his friends could think it's funny that he's going with a sixth year or I could just embarrass myself in my usual ways. I don't know, I half wish I said no, just to save myself all of this worry and to prevent myself from looking like an idiot. Except I could never turned him down because I really, really like him. I guess I can only hope that I don't find some way to mess this up and disappoint him or make him sorry that he ever asked me
/Private
Private to Evie, Audrey, Rosie, Langley
Do we all want to meet and get ready together before the ball?
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| six |
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December 10th, 2008 @ 11:47pm
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I'm beginning to think that this ball is more trouble that it's worth. Ugh.
At least I haven't fallen down any more sets of stairs. Speaking of which, I don't think I ever properly thanked you, Scorpius? So, um, thanks for helping me out. It was really sweet of you, even if I nearly died of em and I really appreciate it. Why am I so awk. And I'm feeling much better! No mishaps since then
Also. Evie, Audrey, and anyone else who wants to join, shall we do something on Hogsmeade weekend? Maybe pick out dress robes or Christmas presents? I think there are a few more supplies that I need too; my quills all seem to be disappearing.
And speaking of Christmas presents, what does everyone want?
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| five |
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November 19th, 2008 @ 1:03pm
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I wish it was spring, with flowers and sun and warmth. All of this cold and short days are depressing.
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| four |
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September 10th, 2008 @ 10:18pm
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Private to Audrey
Did you get the cupcakes I sent you? Chocolate is still your favorite, right?
Private to friends
Okay, my goal for the year is to not make an idiot of myself in front of boys. This will happen. Or stop happening? I don't know.
I just need to figure out how.
/wards
Hot chocolate is just about the best thing ever. I guess most people prefer butterbeer, but maybe because I'm muggleborn but I don't know, I think hot chocolate has it beat. It makes me miss the warm weather less. I think I could tolerate the weather if there was snow, but as is, it's just cold.
But it gives me a chance to wear my new scarf. There's that, I suppose.
Oh! What are everyone's plans for Hogsmeade this weekend? Does anyone want to go with m
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| three |
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August 6th, 2008 @ 6:46pm
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I wish some of the foreign students were staying with us. Hufflepuff never gets any love, it's tragic. We'd totally be the best house to host people and everything. Well, mainly I just wish they were with us because some of the boys are really, really attractive
I'm sort of worried about the tournament. It seems awfully dangerous. And someone died last time. I don't know, it just doesn't seem very wise to throw a bunch of seventeen and eighteen year olds in life threatening situations as part of a game that doesn't really mean anything in the long run. Oh, I hope that doesn't offen
But I am glad for the chance to meet the foreign students!
Private to friends
But let's just hope that I don't continue to make of a fool of myself in front of them though. One of the Beauxbatons boys asked me for directions to one of the classrooms, and all I could do was stammer nervously. Ugh, it was so embarrassing! I don't know why I couldn't just talk like a normal person. Well, okay, I do know- he was unreasonably gorgeous. But still. I hope that I don't have to see him again because I don't want him to remember me and only think of me as this, I don't know, stuttering, hopeless mess.
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| two |
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July 28th, 2008 @ 2:20pm
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Boys are bizarre. I was worried that I was running late for a class, and I asked some boy if he had the time, and he just asked me if I had the energy. What does that even mean? Finding out the time doesn't require any energy, and I can't figure out what he was referring to. He didn't explain, only laughed at my confusion before finally telling me what time it was. But that seems like a really strange way to answer a basic question. Maybe something was wrong with him? It wouldn't surprise me if he was slightly mental, if he goes around saying things like that.
I don't know. Maybe it's better not to question the blokes around here. Most of them have already proved to be mental.
Oh, Audrey, can I borrow your Transfigurations notes? I wasn't really paying attention in class, so I was sort of lost when it came to doing the homework.
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